Naturally Thin: Skinny, Not Anorexic
90"Skinny Girls Have No Right to Complain"
I have been thinking about writing this article for years, but there have been a number of things holding me back. Being naturally thin has been a curse, but I never had an outlet for it. I'd get picked on at school for a number of reasons (I really liked computers, which was "not right for a girl") and for being so thin.
The biggest hurdle in writing this is that I've always been told that I should feel lucky that I'm this thin.
On the other hand, I'd hear nasty comments. I had a "friend" in high school who was heavier and she would always complain about how large she was and how no guy would ever love her. However, I would overhear her talking bad about someone and say something to the effect of, "Well you know how those skinny bitches are!"
It was comments like these that particularly came from larger women that are what made me put off writing this.
I never felt like I was allowed the right to complain about my weight. But, luckily, I never really had a particular complaint about how I looked. Anything that remotely sounded like a complaint would be greeted with, "You have nothing to complain about!"
My Design Specifications
I am somewhere around 5 foot, 4 inches and weight somewhere between 100 pounds and 105. For those of you who are whipping out your BMI calculators, my body mass index is a little under 18. Apparently it's genetic, my mom was unusually thin as a child and would get picked on. There's this story where she toured a bread factory on a field trip and they gave each child a slice of bread. Supposedly the worker looked at my mom and said, "You can have two."
Getting Picked On In School
It started in the 5th grade... well that's when people started to say things. I weighed 45 pounds then and according to a girl who was picking on me, "that's how much a kindergartener weighs... you should be dead."
After 5th grade, I went through a growth spurt (not a big one, obviously.) Kids still picked on me so my parents transferred sent me to a private school for middle school. The teasing stopped, but when I went back to public school for the end of high school, the problems started up again - but this time it was much worse.
Most of it actually came from the guidance counselor. She'd hint during meetings that I was anorexic. At this age, I was really sensitive about it. I'd heard it so many times that it almost felt easier to say, "Yeah, I'm anorexic." I'd always say I wasn't, but it was no use, apparently people who actually suffer from anorexia have the tendency to deny they have a problem. So any time I'd deny having anorexia, it was my "anorexia" talking.
The worst of it came during my senior year of high school. I was called out of class by the guidance counselor. She took me to the lunchroom and got me a yogurt and sat with me making sure I ate the whole thing. I was devastated, but I held it in all day, until I got home and starting bawling. Crying after school (even during high school) wasn't a foreign experience to my family, but I'd always tell my mom what happened. Furious, she called my grandmother and ranted about the guidance counselor. My grandmother told her friend who pretty much told the whole town. The next day at school an acquaintance came up to me and said, "I heard you're anorexic. If you need anyone to talk to, just know I'm there for you." I was crushed.
I stopped going to school with three months of high school remaining. The principal understood my situation and allowed me to finish my coursework at home so that I could graduate on time. The guidance counselor did not return the next fall.
Things That Suck About Being Thin
There are a lot of weight loss things out there and, I suppose if I were a heavier girl, I would probably buy into them. I think everyone would like to have a skinny waist, but trust me, you don't want this!
- Pant size comes up casually in conversation a LOT! Here's how it happens. "You are so thin! What size pants are those? I bet you're like a 0" When they say "0" it's jokingly. Then I answer. There's where it happens, they roll their eyes. And it's just painful. It feels like they don't take me seriously as a human being.
- They don't stock my size at stores. It's understandable, stores want to cater to normally sized people. Not even online stores stock my size! There have been so many times I've come across a really cool political tee with a great message on it, but the smallest size is small or medium. I swim in a small. After I wash an extra-small, it's perfect!
- No breasts. Not a huge problem, because I was never particularly concerned about breast size, but there is one thing: You always hear about women who get breast implants because they want to fit perfect in their bathing suits. It's understandable, but most of those women really don't need implants.
Now, I don't want implants, but me wearing a swimsuit is a joke. They don't make swimsuit tops in my size. They have those cute bikinis with extra small tops, but even those are baggy on me! Thus, I am forced to join the ranks of the one-piece suit wearers. I'm okay with this as I'm not a huge fan of showing skin, but it'd be nice to have a choice!
I still get called anorexic. It baffles me, I LOVE food! Put a plate of sushi in front of me and I'll go to town! People joke about how I eat salad. They call it "both the soup and the salad" given the amount of salad dressing I use. Even co-workers joke about the fact that I would down a huge lunch in seconds like I'm some sort of voracious animal. While I eat a decent amount of food, I just don't gain weight. One doctor diagnosed me with Crohn's disease. Other diagnoses have included IBS and a strange and incredibly rare one called superior mesenteric artery syndrome.
Whenever someone makes comments about my weight, I just refer to one of those three medical issues so they'll back off, even though now doctors say there's nothing wrong with me -- I'm just naturally thin!
How Being Underweight Can Be Worse Than Being Overweight
There are more and more people who are finding their weight isn't "ideal" because they wear something larger than a size 8. Perhaps this is due to busy schedules not allowing Americans free time to go outside and exercise and to the junk that is pumped into food. As more and more people are finding themselves overweight, everyone hears more about it.
There are literally hundreds of fad diets out there -- they all promise to be "the best way" or "the healthiest way" or allow you to "eat what you want." The word "diet" constantly being thrown in a larger person's face can make them feel like garbage.
With all these constant reminders, it's pretty much been stamped into etiquette that you don't call a person "fat" and you don't talk with the person about losing weight. It's seriously just not nice to make comments on how overweight a person is. It's hurtful!
When it comes to being underweight, society throws all that etiquette out the window. It seriously does not exist! If you're a larger person, you've heard comments about your weight. It makes you feel like trash! Imagine getting those comments all the time!
Quick Poll
When you see a really skinny girl, do you think she has an eating disorder?
See results without votingCoping With Anger & Low Self-Esteem
It's been several years since high school, but I still go to therapy occasionally. I still get a lot of comments about my weight from people. People still point out to me that anorexic people deny having an eating disorder. It makes me incredibly angry when people say things like that to me. Of course I never show it. I'm fantastic at pretending things are okay until I get a quiet time alone.
There are things I have to watch out for, of course, being so thin (and with coping with stress.) I get stomach ulcers easily. When I get stressed out, I actually do stop eating. As a skinny person, I have to make sure that I get enough to eat even when I'm stressed --and I have to watch my weight to stay in a healthy zone.
Spending time in therapy has helped a lot. When first meeting, I'd described why I wasn't anorexic. The psychologist said to me, "Just tell me you're not anorexic... you don't have to convince me." I said I wasn't and then asked, "Do you think I'm anorexic." The response was no. A lot of my therapy has revolved around building confidence -- and especially learning to not explain myself to people or succumb to peer pressure.
It's a continual battle for confidence. I listen to everything people say and search for their intentions or any ulterior motives... and there's guilt I get when I don't give people what they want. Sometimes it makes me feel like Diane Keaton in "First Wives Club!"
There's still a long road ahead of me. I know I don't have an eating disorder. I just need to work on no longer making excuses for being who I am. For now I'll just stop telling people I have Chron's or IBS and just say, "I'm naturally thin. I'm just skinny, not anorexic."
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I'm 5'11" and have a similar problem. Heard the same remarks most of my life.
Hello, Mabel. I am between 5'4 and 5'5 and weigh 110. I buy my jeans in stores catering to teenagers.
I got this attitude from my father' mother's side whenever we went to visit them during the summer. They are naturally overweight and Italian-they would get offended if you didn't eat several helpings. What's wrong with my cooking? Nothing. It must be you. etc.
I naturally have a high metabolism. when I am under a lot of stress-university was very stressful-my metabolism is even moreefficient and I need to eat constantly to maintain my weight. But when my stress level is normal, I eat normally. My Dad was extremly thin till hit he hit his middle thirties, taking after his father's side. His mother's side is obese no matter how they eat. Go figure. Meanwhile my mother's side of the family dollows want people think is the "norm" You are what you eat.
The thing is consistancy of weight. People who are anarexic continue to lose weight. People who are naturally thin have a consistent weight. A lot of people do not understand this. Why I don't know. You think it would be logical.
And people who tell a woman they think is anarexic-whether she is or not-to eat more food clearly do not understand the disease. It *is* a disease. It is not as if they can can get better without medical help. These people make me angry because thesegirls and women are dying and they think they just need to be told to eat.
It is my belief that society has an idea that anyone who is healthy must be betwen a size 5 and a size 8. Not true.
I can understand your frustration! I too am small and sometimes others make remarks that are hurtful. Just as long as you are healthy, that is what is most important!
I can understand where you're coming from. I've been asked, many times over the years, if I was anorexic. I'm 5'6" and my weight hovers around 102 to 105.
Like the rest of you, I can eat a ton of food!
Great hub!
Terri
This is a really good hub Melbel. You have shared a very vital perspective that many people don't know about, thanks for discussing this out here. Sharing important stuff like this helps develop better understanding. I was very skinny myself growing up and had my share of nicknames.
It's rough! I still won't go to a gym. I get paranoid like people think I'm there to lose weight. I would just like to gain a little muscle so that people would lay off a little bit!
What you have related here is so true, melbel. Appreciate your sharing this. I like the answer you give, "I'm naturally thin," the truth. If people insist there is something else going on, you can tell them "You've got enough on your plate already and there is no room for guilt!"
Wow, it is really awesome that you drummed up the courage to write this. I am sure there are many other thin people out there who would benefit from reading this, I am sure you are not alone in this. You get a vote-up and an awesome for having written this hub.
I'm almost exactly the same size and weight and haven't dealt with issues to the extreme that you have, but I have dealt with it on some level and definitely sympathize. I don't know where I would be without women's clothing stores like Ann Taylor that carry petite sizes. I still buy a lot clothes, especially pants, at teen stores because they fit well. I frequently explain that I'm naturally thin, too. I try to eat well and exercise regularly, but I'm not obsessive about either one. Thanks for writing this.
In my early years, I was thin for my height. I still remember the scoldings my mother subjected me to stating that I was too thin. My mother was a licensed dietitian with a masters degree. I remember her throwing that useless fact in my face. This is 35 years ago and I am not thin now. Congratulations to you for writing this letting people know it is fine to be slender. Obesity causes more health problems than being thin. Diabetes.
Wow...An article from my own heart, except it sounds like society's criticisms were much worse to you. This was written very well,and to have the courage to pour your heart and soul into this piece of work is wonderful!! I to am 5'4" except my weight varies 95-105lbs, I have been trying for years to gain weight, I eat a lot.At least 6 times a day, and much more than any male I know, I can even out eat my father. And yet people have been so ignorant for years; teachers, doctors, friends' parents, and goodness knows whom else, were under the false notion that I had an eating disorder, and here is the kicker: I do not have an eating disorder and--I am terrified of throwing up, and I love food way too much--I never have and never will. It is almost a positive thing to see that there are a fair amount of other's that have felt such insulting and hurtful comments. Perhaps one day this awful thing may be brought into the light.
I think you look healthy in that Halloween pic, not like someone who is depriving themselves of proper nutrition. I've always had to struggle to keep my weight in the high normal/healthy range, but have been blessed with some wonderful women in my life who have the opposite struggle.
And that's just it: it's a struggle for them, too!
People will always try to find something about a person to judge. Don't let them convince you that you look sick. You look healthy to me, just petite, much like I look healthy, but curvy!
Yes, many thanks for the article. I've gone through the same type of stuff my entire life, although when I was young,nobody had really heard of anorexia. But, they still thought I didn't eat. I DID gain some, actually too much, when I went through puberty, but it just kind of 'disappeared' by the time I was 18 or 19. I didn't diet to get it off, I think my metabolism finally adjusted to my hormone levels, which were quite high. Anyway, even in 'old age' I still weigh only about 102...I'm 5'2"...and with age comes wisdom...kind of. At any rate, my friends and family know I eat well, and I don't really GIVE a hoot what strangers think. Oh, and my doctor is GLAD I'm small, he says I will have fewer age-related health problems because of this. So, keep your chin up, and learn to let comments just roll of your back. Really, stop caring about what people you really don't know well think. And, remember, you will still be healthy, most likely, when you're my age
I have to say this hub was very gripping from start to end. That is what you and others should be focused on, your obvious talents. Unfortunately, this society often focuses first on the size of the package we come in. I'm so glad you were brave enough to write this, maybe expressing this will begin to help you heal. But I think you just need to adopt a "who cares attitude" and move on with your life and talents.
From one skinny girl to another: ThankyouthankyouTHANKYOU for writing this hub!
Like you, I have always been skinny. I am 5'7", and at my personal heaviest, I was 130 pounds. All my life, I have had to deal with comments about my weight. I still have trouble eating in front of people because if I don't clean my plate, people assume I'm anorexic. I have been told by total strangers that I need to eat more.
And the worst part is that if I complain about the way people look at me and judge me, I am told that I have nothing to complain about. Once, I commented to a coworker that I needed to buy some new pants because I had gained a few inches since buying the pair I was wearing, and they were starting to feel tight. She sneered at me and asked, "Oh, where have you gained weight, your earlobes?"
Thank you so much for having the courage to write this hub on behalf of skinny girls everywhere who are tired of being viewed as "skinny bitches." Perhaps I, too, can find the courage to write a hub on my own experiences.
I'm 4'9 it's normally for Thai girl about small but one thing is really annoying me so much is i always thinks that i'm fat and i'm tryna find the way to lost my weight but another people said that i'm too skinny which it's not really lol, by the way i thinks your perfect as you are and you are not too skinny it's just PERFECT!! :D
Congratulations Melbel for your hub being featured as hub of the day.
Hi Melbel,
Congrats on being the HUB of the day. I just thought I would chime in, being male and way to heavy. I never heard of any one being “anorexic” until I was in college. In my neighborhood you were fat, normal, or skinny. Now if you were Italian skinny meant something was wrong, there are very few skinny Italian girls I have known. Italian girls looked like Sophia Loren when they were 12 and your mother when they got to 20, and you never left anything on your plate “don’t you know there are children starving in China?”. I always even to this day think thin women are ‘hot’ and everyone in my family is normal. No shrinks in those days, not for anyone I knew anyway. Only the well to do talked to “doctors” about being different. Why? I know better now but it still is a foreign thing for me to think they will help. Thanks for the interesting read and I think your ‘HOT’!
Peter
Congrats on Hub of the Day!
I can't say that I've had this exact issue myself (I am not naturally skinny by any means), however I did face similar taunting for being well-endowed from fourth grade on. Sometimes people can be very thoughtless when they say things, and they don't stop to think that what they say can be hurtful. I'm happy for you that you seem to be halfway comfortable in your own skin. That is something that so many people can never find!
Great Hub. If I was still a school counselor I'd post it on my wall. Most kids need support, understanding and acceptance, not a diagnosis. That counselor should be hung by her thumbs. Congratulations on the Hub of the day!
This is the hub for me! I've been called 'skinny' all my life and it is so irritating!
Melbel. I am so sorry that you have experienced such a negativity on your body size. I myself am the opposite and even though people should not comment on peoples size, they still do, whatever your size.
I do not see skinny girls and assume anything. I had a friend that was and always will be around a size 6 UK size. A zero is a UK4. Yet I have seen her devour 4 maccy d double cheeseburgers and a large milkshake as a Saturday lunch.
What people need to realize is that slim people can still have bad cholesterol, and they should still get it checked.
Great hub and congrats on Hub of the day.x
God, your story is so close to home that I do not even know where to start!
In the 9th grade I was about 5.3" and weighed 115 lbs, I was constantly told that I am fat! By the 11th grade I was 5.4" and still 115 lbs and even my parents believed I was fat, not to mention, all the girls and the bullying.
In the 12th grade I started to exercise, by the end of the year I brought my weight down to 100 lbs, I am still 5.4", and ever since then I have managed to maintain my weight between 105 to 110 lbs.
Now the problem is that every one calls me too skinny?! I mean there is no pleasing the people around me. The crack jokes about how I must keep coins in my pockets otherwise I might fly away, how I eat nothing, how I am probably anorexic etc etc etc, I could go on all day.
Fact is I am a very healthy person and I exercise to maintain my weight to fit the norms of this society where girls are pencil thin... Yet when you achieve the pencil thin status you get teased for it.
My waist size is about 27 inches, I liked a pair of jeans in a shop and the shop keeper looked at me and said, "You are too fat for these jeans, they are 26 inch waist size." I did not really know how to respond to the man, so I just moved on without saying a word.
I sort of roll my eyes to all of it and now when any one cracks a 'thin' or 'fat' joke on me, I just smile and say, "Thank you, it takes work to maintain this figure."
:P
Melbel, I can relate to EVERYTHING you state in your hub, and it's so refreshing to hear someone else say it because I've been trying to tell people all this for years! I am 5ft 5", and my weight is always between 105 and 112 lbs, I don't seem to be able to get over that...I've stopped trying! I too eat what I want when I want, but I also find it difficult to eat when I get stressed...some people over-eat and some people eat nothing when stressed...this doesn't make us anorexic! I've been called a skinny bitch, and worse, and accused of having an eating disorder more times than I care to remember...but always by jealous people who wish they had my figure! I have also suffered with stomach ulcers, but eating the right foods will help that. And trying to find clothes to fit can be a nightmare...I hate shopping! But now, at the age of 29, I'm really starting to accept my slim figure, as I'm healthy, I look great, I don't have massive boobs that are heading towards my knees, my butt is pert, nice slim legs...everything is still where it should be : ) and I'm sure it will remain for a long time still! But I haven't always felt like this about myself...it can take a while. Once you learn to love and accept yourself, and see the positive things about your body, peoples nasty catty comments will roll off your back...keep going to therapy and building your confidence and you will get to a point of acceptance, and you won't care what anyone else thinks! Everyone is different...it's what makes the world go round...learn to love yourself! Great hub, well done for speaking out for the slim jims : D x
My sister is the same way, naturally thin. And the weird part about it is, the rest of the people in my family are naturally robust. Not fat, just tall and muscular, with quite a healthy amount of meat on our bones. My sister is about 5 foot 6 inches and her top weight, when she was 9 months pregnant, was 125 pounds. She normally weighs about 100, 102, 104, somewhere in there. She eats; I love taking her out for a meal, because she enjoys food a lot, and so do I! I know she isn't anorexic. I think she looks good--she always looks pretty cool to me, because she can wear those legging things, with a fairly oversize t, and it looks dynamite. We make a funny-looking pair because I'm 2 inches taller than she and about 30 pounds heavier. Hey, it's okay, we both look good in each our own ways.
I hear what you're saying. She does get a lot of unnecessary flack for being thin. Like that's a bad thing? Oh, come on. I tell her, and I believe this is true, those women are just jealous of the way she looks. She's very beautiful in my eyes, always.
So good luck to you and I'm glad the therapy is working. I'm just sorry it's necessary.
Great hub and thanks for writing it. My mother is 5'1 and the most she ever weighed was 114lbs when she was 9 months pregnant. Although I'm much larger than her at 5'5" and weighing between 102 and 106 lbs until my 40's (Now in my 50's I average 112-115), I've had a taste of what it is like. Buying clothes was always difficult for me. Buying pants that fit was almost impossible. At least larger people have stores filled with clothing just for them. There is NOTHING for the thinnest people. Washing and shrinking clothes, paying someone to downsize them etc. is a fact of life.
People would say the rudest things to me, things they would never say to a large person. I remember older women commenting that I looked horrible, right to my face. They always assumed I was starving myself.
With the movement to get people to be more accepting of larger people, thinner people haven't been afforded the same attention and in fact it only seems to get worse. While understanding, recognizing, and fighting anorexia and other eating disorders is critical, we shouldn't be quick to label people with this.
I can relate to this. A lot. The worse was my nursing teacher pulling me to the side and asking me if I was gagging myself you know because apparently skinny girls don't have to use the bathroom like everyone else. When I was a kid me and all my siblings were nearly taken by social services because they thought our parents were starving us. Luckily the doctor was one of those smart ones that knows about that thing called "high metabolism" that's been known about for a while now. Its annoying how most people can't get that. Maybe its too much work for them to think.
I found, when I was skinny, yes people said things, but I notice at least they talked to me. I've been both, since getting older and am a bit over weight, at times. Skinny people get 'things said to them' but 'fat'people don't get things said to them,because, when over weight, they are the invisible people. Most people look past you,when over weight,just like you don't exist. For the most part, having been both, I think I'd rather not become invisible. I noticed when my girlfriends and I would go out, the chubby ones didn't get so much as a look from guys. It's s superficial world in many ways.
I come from the other end of the spectrum, I have been a larger person my whole life. I really found this article refreshing and informative. It helps to heal the wounds of bullying knowing it's not only you and that people of all different sizes and backgrounds get relentlessly teased due to appearances. Thank you for sharing and keep it coming.
Great Hub! I used to be so thin that I dealt with this. Anerexic wasn't in our vocab when I was going to school so I never got called that but other names. I since gained weight and have a hard time losing it so having some fat is not preferred. I liked being thin. I have a good friend whose daughter was also thin and her guidance counselor did the same thing to her and she never even thought of herself as skinny until that day. She then started having a bit of a complex. Her mom was also thin so you see she came by naturally. Her mom went to school and gave therapy to the guidance counselor and that stopped that nonsense...good for her!!
Thanks for writing this Hub
!
You have shared nuch from your heart here. If't bad for either skinny or heavy persons to hear tacky comments. Some people just are not aware of how their words can affect another person. Keep getting stronger, put on your shield of faith daily and keep moving forward. We all have things we would like to change or improve about ourselves - even those 'tacky speaking' people who think they are so smart yet can't tell they need to improve on their social/communication skills. Enjoy who you are and love the life you live. voted and rated.
Welcome to the "I am naturally skinny" club. I have been called scrawny, skinny, anorexic, bulimic, etc. for my whole life. I am 5'8" and after my first child I weighed 115 lbs. My mom was thin and my 12 yr. old daughter is 5'3" and almost 80 lbs. Obviously this condition is genetic. When people make comments we figure they are just jealous and we tell them we were blessed with "good genes". I wish, however, they would make clothing for my daughter with long enough legs and small enough around. She needs a girls size 16 for length, but a size 8 around. It's difficult for sure.
great hub. I've been on both sides of the spectrum now. In high school I was very very tiny - a size 0 and sometimes even in child size clothing. This was all the way until I graduated at all of 90 pounds. I am only 5'2 (with my shoes on ;) ) and being that tiny and that short I was constantly mocked by others for both.
After I had my first son, I was miserable in my marriage and consoled myself with all the wrong foods and ballooned up to an unhealthy weight - and then it was the opposite issue - my former mother in law would buy me something already 3 sizes too large and ask me if she should let it out some so it would fit properly.... sigh.
Today, I am still losing some baby weight and "went back to college" weight ;) and I focus now on being fit and healthy - exercising more and eating the right foods for my body. I am almost down to "normal" BMI rate and I am finally at the point in my life where I don't let other people's opinions of how I look, think etc. stop me from being comfortable with who I am. THAT is the lesson for everyone ;) regardless of one's size - well that and never ever judge a book by its cover.
At my goal weight and ideal weight for my body I will only be a size 3 or 4 and that's just the way my little tiny frame was made so I don't feel bad about it - and anyone who does well that's their problem not mine.
thanks for sharing your perspective - it's hard to open up and talk about things like this and I am glad you shared it.
I wouldn't wear shorts for years and years. My legs are just SO thin.
I couldn't gain weight unless I started sucking down protein shakes and lifting weights. I couldn't have a beer belly if I wanted to.
I filled out a lot after turning 30 - enough so that I go around shirtless and in shorts a lot in this Texas Summer.
I was always told the same thing, "be glad you're skinny!"
I swear, I was so self conscious about being so thin - that I used to run go weight myself after everything I ate, and I'd eat constantly, to no avail.
I think the main thing is for everyone to be healthy, and if you are fairly healthy, to just be proud of who and what you are. There's people that are unhappy with their body all over the place - they are chasing images sold to them by Monsters in mass media, that have no souls, really, just a desire to forever sell things that no one needs.
Wow!So well-written. Voted up--beautiful, awesome, and useful. More people should read that. I'm average size and as I get older I struggle more with keeping weight off. I love to eat, and, unfortunately stress doesn't slow that down.Still, I disagree with one of the earlier comments that skinny people like healthy foods and fat people like sweets. I'm becoming more convinced that there are a number of people out there who are naturally thin and others who are naturally fatter. I do think there's a middle road, too, that has to do with lifestyle choices, of course. I have always eaten healthy, I don't care for many sweets, but my metabolism just isn't that great. Naturally thin people don't have to work at it so much. I have had some thin and even skinny friends who also got tired of the comments. One said to me something like, How would she feel if I called her fat? This particular friend got her thinness honestly--from her family genes. She ate a lot, snacked a lot, and didn't shy away from the sweets. She hoped the weight after her pregnancy would stay on, but it didn't. She CANNOT gain weight. Me? Not a problem. I'm sorry for what you went through. That is just awful. Maybe articles like yours will help us all to be more sensitive to people of all shapes and sizes. We don't know what makes them the way they are, and what they might be going through. Thanks for being brave enough to write this hub.
Congrats, by the way, on being Hub of the Day!
Sorry my comment was so long! I just get fired up about people's perceptions sometimes. Maybe my comments will be a part of a future hub. Thanks again.
I've always been naturally skinny. It's pretty annoying, but the more information on the subject, the better.
Hi Melbel,
You are so right... one of my best friends has the same issue. She is naturally thin b/c her metabolism is so fast. It is genetic as her mom was the same way... thankfully my friend is not as bad as her mom. I am a full figured woman. We joke sometimes saying that we need to have fat transplants this way she would burn off the fat that I'd like to lose. She hates being as skinny as she is for a lot of the same reasons you listed in your article.
It is unfortunate that our society has a real tendency to punish women for being either too thin or too fat. Misery certainly does love company and that misery is certainly rampant for both types of women. Its like we don't want to be who and what we are... we can't accept ourselves so we unconsciously or consciously tear others down b/c of they have a particular something we want or they don't reach our standards of how they "should be". Punishing ourselves and others is not the way to make ourselves feel better. It comes from accepting who and what you are which is not always an easy thing to do I realize... but it can be done. I fight it every day... perceptions of myself and of others. I try to do things for myself and not for others but when you feel like you live in a little box it's rather difficult to do. I work every day at acceptance of myself and my choices... some days are better than others.
Whether you're fat or thin it doesn't matter... what matters is how you feel about you. If you are happy w/ who you are and show that to others they're less likely to attack. This works for me a lot of times... when you show your personality... it takes the focus off your physical form so they pay attention to YOU! I learned this a long time ago... I still do this to this day and will continue to do so. Take Al Pacino for example... when you see him on the screen do you see him as anything but larger than life. You don't see his height you see his personality and what comes out of him. Al is like 5 foot 4 I think... maybe shorter I'm not sure. When he's on screen you know he's there.
Well I think I've been on my soapbox long enough. Hang in there girl... I know it's hard but hang in there. Remember those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Big hugzzzz!!!!
Hi Melbel...first of all, you look adorable in your 2010 Halloween costume...and not at all anorexic!
I'm sorry you've had to endure this over time; my feeling is that most of it comes from jealousy and not a real belief that you suffer from anorexia...it's too bad that those who have allowed themselves to succumb to what is typically thought to be normal as we get older.... becoming overweight.....have taken out their self dislike on others who, for one reason or another, are not overweight.
Great hub! And, you're as cute as you can be! Don't worry about ignorance..hold your head high and enjoy life!!
All positives UP
Mel...I can imagine it took a lot of courage to write about such a personal battle. I think we all battle in some way, feeling left out and not being taken seriously.
I went from very slim to very fat and then came back again to a normal weight. When I was slim I was picked on for other reasons, when I was fat I was congratulated with my pregnancy!
I told people...I'm not. I'm just fat! How I loved the shock in their faces, meanwhile being angry for their stupid comment.
Now I embrace my Latin hips, buy the things that make me look sexy and yes....I went through a lot of therapy as well, to face the world and their prejudices, with some balls.
It took some balls to write your Hub! Well done:-) Ofcourse I voted you up and clicked on awesome and beautiful!
Great comment, Escobana!
This is a great hub. It's interesting to see this on a different perspective because most only look into the overweight perspective. I have never been really skinny nor overweight, but I think no matter what your size, most find something about themselves to criticize. I know I will never be a size zero because my genetics consists of curves, a round tush, and big boobs lol. I have heard many comments from me being too curvy, thick, fat or suprisingly, lucky. But it's all in how you view yourself that counts. I did not embrace my body at first, but knowing that I cannot change what was given to me, I have learned to enjoy some of my assets.
I can relate to you a lot! I am 5'2" and weigh 100 pounds. I gained 8 pounds once and everyone said I looked great, but I couldn't keep it on. I eat like any other person, but both of my parents are small and short, so I get it honest. Also, I have a high metabolism like my mom. I used to excercise and was into sports, but now I don't do anything and still don't gain weight. It was refreshing to hear 'my side' of the story being displayed. Some people don't know that being skinny can have its disadvantages as well. It takes me so long to go clothes shopping. I fit better in petite sizes, but sometimes it's hard to find younger styles and it ends up costing more then regular sizes would. Also, I was never teased as much as you were growing up, but I was always the smallest one in class and people would always comment on how little I was; they still do. Another thing that bothers me is that, probably because I'm so small, people think I'm a lot younger then I actually am. I'm 26 and people say I look somewhere between 18 to 20. Many people still think I'm in college when I've actually been out for about 4 years. What I've learned is that all women have insecurities at some point in their lives. Even dealing with our appearance, the grass is always greener. It's a life-long process to learn to accept ourselves just as God created us.
Very good article friend. Enjoyed reading it. Come up with such more hubs and become a hub queen
Thank you for writing this hub. I know what you are going through. I was skinny most of my life until I hit menopause. Growing up I was called Oliveoile, bones, sticks you name it. It's funny how guys can be skinny as a rail growing up and nobody comments on them. I hated the fact that people would stare at how you'd eat and how much you'd eat on your plate. I went from a size 4 to a size 12 with age. So hang in there. By the way, you look pretty healthy and not underweight in your photo. Next time someone comments on you being skinny, just smile and say "I'm happy the way I am" Beautiful hub. I'm going to follow you. P.S. It's nice to know that others are coming forward.
Hooray for the skinny girls! At 5'8 and 110 lbs most of my life, I was made fun of and picked on often in highschool. My last name is Taylor and therefore Toothpick Taylor became my nickname. I too have had trouble my entire life byuying pants that fit because if they fit in the waist, they were usually three inches too short.
As I've reached the age group of "over 40" I revel in my "skinny years" as I am now a perfect size 3 after putting on 15 lbs. Most women would be running for the nearest diet guru after gaining 15 lbs...but I am excited to be able to buy curve hugging dresses and sexy jeans that I can wear with heels.
And let's not forget Bethany who has hit it out of the park for Skinny girls everywhere. She branded the name "Skinny Girl" into a 100 million dollar business!!!
Congrats on the HUB of the Day article!
Melanie,
You must look good to all the others workingout at the gym! I'm 60, 5'11 150 pounds, married for the first time two years ago to a lovely, beautiful woman, and I still play baseball and workout too (some yoga and light use of weights just enough to be toned). And I eat a lotta good healthy delicious food! But still people ask me if I eat enough! So I tell them, "Treat me to a dinner at a fine restaurant, and I'll show you!"
I found that despite what others might say, positively or negatively, they think they have more and bigger problems with THEIR bodies! And people at a gym are no different! They'd probably love to be friendly with you, just as you are (wonderful)! A lot of people really envy how you look, when they make comments about you not weighing a lot! Ya gotta feel good about that! Have a sense of humor in that regard! They don't really say everything their thinking about themselves! They really want humor and compassion from you! They want to know that they have a lot going for them too!
thank you for a great hub! i am an overweight woman...i was my "normal" weight my entire life until i got into my early 20's and then i started gaining a lot and now i need to loose probably a good 80 pounds to be considered healthy for my height, age and sex.
your article was very enlightening for me...i tell my thin friends all the time they should be thankful that they are not fat...and i never thought about how they might feel about MY comments...and i know if they addressed my fat i would be hurt and probably tell them off!
you are so right...in this society women are especially scrutinized for their body type, size, beauty, etc., and if you are not too fat, you are too thin...too many comments these days and values put on our outer exterior.
thank you for enlightening a larger person to how it feels to be very thin and have people accuse you of having an eating disorder...i never thought about things from your point of view...i guess the grass isn't always greener!
i will watch my "fat" little mouth the next time i start to talk about one of my thin friends and remember how i feel when i have heard people comment negatively on my weight.
thank you!!! :)
You express yourself so clearly and so well. I'm glad that you decided to write about this topic, even though it is very personal to you.
I was super skinny until I was 13, and everyone, including my family thought I was anorexic too, even though I would consume a ridiculous amount of food because of my high metabolism. I'm still on the slim side now that I'm in my thirties too.
And I think you're right, being skinny is worse than being overweight, especially when it comes to other women. "Skinny bitch" and they give you that look, you know what I'm talking about, the "how dare you look like that" look. It's so stupid. We're not supposed to make negative comments about fat people, but its ok to say all matter of nasty things about women who happen to be slim? Double standard!!
I'm proud of myself nowadays because I can honestly say, I no longer give a rat's ass what other people think of me. You don't like the fact I'm slim? Suck it!! I'm happy to be me.
Again, I say good for you that you wrote this hub, I think it's fantastic!
MelBel ... Congratulations on your "Hub of the Day"; it was a great read. You are also to be congratulated in putting in the time to find the right person to help you build your ability to deal with this personal situation.
I see where you're coming from; I was considered 'bone thin' until I had children. Even with a 20-pound gain, I get 'why are you here' comments when I go to the gym. I've explained time and again that 'thin doesn't necessarily mean fit'. I've been able to not let these comments seep into my soul but have it roll off my back.
Thank you for sharing and best wishes as you continue to move forward and conquer the long road!
Great Hub - it makes me glad I was born a man, I think women put way to much pressure on themselves to look good.
It is really a unhealthy to starve yourself to satisfy someones idea of what you "should look like"
Have a great week
Manthy
This was an excellent hub! First and foremost, I want to say DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY! I have thyroid and other medical issues. I am 5'6" and my weight has fluctuated between 80 lbs and 180 lbs. Between medicene and illness and everything else, I heard a lot of people say a lot of different things. There is such a thing as being 'too skinny' but just because you are naturally small does not mean you fit into that category. People who are too skinny are people whose eating habits are unhealthy. You, rather than watching how much you eat, watch how little you eat. Rather than paying attention to how much the scale goes up, you pay attention to how much the scale goes down. Take it as a compliment when other people talk about how skinny you are, because (believe me) most of them are dying to look like you! And when people say you are anorexic, most of them are just jealous. The rest are just concerned about you, and I would take that as a compliment as well. It means they like you and care about you. I am not one to drink, nor eat meat, nor eat chocolate because of my medical problems. My diet is severely limited, and all the time people say 'just one' won't hurt. But if you know it will, then don't do it. Your true friends will understand, and those that don't will either have to accept it or take the highway.
Keep up the good work, and don't worry about other people. Just focus on taking care of yourself.
This is coming from both a fat and skinny bitch! But believe me, I'd rather be a bitch than get walked all over. Life is about learning to balance, and you're on your way there!
Hi Melbel. I am 5'10" and was taunted all through high school for being too thin. At one point I was 6.5 stone. I would eat absolutely everything, but could not put on weight. I even tried all of those build up drinks which didn't work either. Don't listen to other people, they are just ignorant and plain rude - just be you. Everyone's metabolism is different. Thanks for a great hub which is truly worthy of being hub of the day - Congratulations.
Congratulations on making Hub of the Day! A very fine hub indeed! Never having been in your shoes, but knowing several people who were, I understand your frustration with people. I am 5' 2" now. Pretty much have been since 5th grade. I was skinny then, in my arms and legs. My middle has always been thicker, like straight up and down. My best friends who are 5' 7" and 5' 8", we're polar opposites. One was 200 lbs, the other 120. I was always told I got the "short end of the deal" or when we hung out we were referred to the long and the short of it, etc. I have found though, having gone from the 100 lbs way back when, to the roughly 185-190 that I am these days--that it is not one's size that matters. It is how comfortable one is in their own skin. It has taken many years, probably too long, to accept myself for who I am and how I look. If people don't like what they see, they don't have to look. If they want to say something rude and stupid, I can tell them to piss off and move on. You will get there one day. Try and be happy with yourself. You don't look ill, you look great! Voted up, useful, beautiful, awesome, and interesting!
I really do have Crohns and have had the same problem with being accused of being anorexic. The truth is that these people don't realize it is just as hurtful to comment on how skinny a person is as it is to say how fat someone is.
I hope some of these people read this hub, so they get a better idea of how rude these comments are.
Wow! I am so astounded by the response here! I actually didn't know I was hub of the day until a commenter congratulated me!
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words. I didn't know there were so many people who have gone through this! It sounds selfish, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. Hopefully we can all band together and spread awareness that being skinny isn't a crime. (Nor is being large... or heck, even "normal.")
I really feel for people suffering from eating disorders, but, at the same time, I want to say, "Just be yourself" to people suffering from these problems. I have been friends with confident people of all shapes and sizes and I think people who are themselves, no matter how "weird" they feel they might be, are far cooler than people who cave to social "norms." Nobody is normal, not even the people who write those stupid columns in magazines.
Thanks again to everyone who commented!
Melanie
I have seen both sides of this equation. I was a skinny kid whose mom constantly picked on her about being fat (seriously), then would pump me full of cake and candy. I was a thin teenager too. After my third child, I WAS HEAVY and I kept adding to it until I was 220 lbs at 5'9". I finally stopped worrying about my weight and said well, middle-aged fat is okay. Then when I was 45, I was diagnosed with lupus and celiac disease. Between those two things, I started dropping weight. I am still dropping weight. I have lost about 60 lbs or a little more in the last five years. I have gone from an 18 to a size 10 pair of jeans. That doesn't sound like that small, but when you are large framed and can actually carry 185 lbs well, it is small, and it is the size I wore when I graduated from college at 22, and I am 50!
I can tell you, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. Be heavy and everyone stares at you for being FAT and you can see it in their eyes. Lose the weight and all the heavy women will give you dirty looks for being thin. The point is to be happy with yourself and celebrate who you are...on the inside, the only place that true beauty is found in anyone.
Congratulations on being selected for the Hub of the Day!
melbel you shed a great light on this often shadowed topic. It sounds like you have been on a ruff journey. Good for you for posting this and sharing a different view of self esteem and dealing with one's weight and size! I think you will inspire many people with this. People should stop criticizing others and society should stop putting so many labels on women. God made us all different and we should be proud and embrace who we are. Great job!
JSMatthew~
Thank you so much for writing this beautiful hub. You have done a fantastic job, all the Best to you!
I'm 5'7 and weigh 100lbs, I know exactly how you feel. Lately I've been under a lot of stress and I have working out at home to relieve it. I'm pretty sure I'm starting to gain muscle which is making me very happy! It's impossible for me to gain weight. That is until I realized I've been trying to gain the wrong kind of weight. Maybe you should try to gain muscle, you don't have to look beefy if you don't want to, you can pick the right workout plan and just go for an athletic look and it definitely helps with confidence! I now find it increasingly difficult to fit into a size zero and I love that! I don't want to look like everybody else but I want to look healthy! I'm sure that as long as you take care of your body people will start to shut up and compliment you! You're not skinny in your photo but you are definitely lean and lean is a very healthy place to be! so work what you got no matter what!
Bravo for a wonderful hub, must of been very difficult indeed. It is horrible that we live in a society that thinks being thin is a negative. Horizontally challenged has become the normal now, Being 6'1" @ 135 but very healthy and fit myself have lived all my life with people saying your to skinny. Which may be true My secret is to have friends that accept me for who I m and my contribution to the friendship. Have to admit that lately, on a few occasions I have had perfect strangers, usually of very heavy weight, say to me your really skinny. My reply has been less than charming and has left the strangers head spinning. Sometimes enough is enough. Keep thin and happy.
Very interesting and unique hub. I'll say this much, I strongly believe that you can tell just by looking at people if they are anorexic/bulimic, or just individuals whom are not affected by food as much as others are. I too go to the gym, and see people (mostly women) who look anorexic/bulimic - pale skin color, bags under the eyes, skin and bones showing...likewise, there are overweight people who look sickly as well - overweight individuals who may be dieting..., etc. I know I'm being silly, but I forgot who it was that said "the word diet has die in it." Nevetheless, if you're an individual who is skinny by constitution/gene, then all the more power to you!
Take care
John
You are not too skinny :) you are perfect!! :)
Great post! You often find that many people complain about being heavy, ect. You never see the "problems" people face for being too thin. Quite honestly, no one ever thinks someone would dislike that fact. I really appreciate you bringing to light the struggles that all people, shapes and sizes face. I just made the decision to get gastric bypass. All my friends were so supportive of me. I am 90lbs down, and have heard from my supportive friends "Oh great, now you are thinner then me" and they no longer speak to me. I cannot get over the jealousy and lack of self esteem people suffer. It's a shame. Thanks again! Great hub!
I'm the father of a beautiful daughter who has gone through the same thing for much of her life. She's 5' 7" and weights 125 pounds. That's now, at 27 years old. For most of her life she weighed 104 pounds. Slowly she crept up to 115, and the most recent 10 pounds have crept on over the last two years. She's always eaten as much as she wants, as often as she wants, whatever she wants.
I guess I'm saying that people's metabolism does change. I'm 50, at 235 pounds, which is obviously obese. But I was slender until I was 26. It's likely that you will gain weight eventually. For now, enjoy being thin. Enjoy being who you are, period. I'm constantly challenged to do that as a fattie. Buying clothes sucks, and I always feel like a failure when I succumb to desert. But I usually still love myself, and I hope you do, too.
Great hub. I don't like skinny:-)
I worry about my daughter for this reason. She is four years old and thin. Her daddy is also very thin. I've had nurses at the health department express their concern for her, when she's above the 10th percentile. The thing that worries me is that people will make comments (in front of her, or to her) about how skinny she is. Can you imagine if someone called a four year old fat in front of them, why is it ok to call them skinny in front of them. I don't want her to feel different or abnormal. All she needs to know is that she's a beautiful, healthy little girl.
It's sad that we all have such body images, but it is often fed by those around us. I am a size 12 (would like to be the 8 I used to be), have a little tummy bulge and big thighs. I've always had the "hourglass figure," but I'd like to shrink it by 20 or 30 lbs, but it's so difficult to do. I'd love to be accepted as I am, but I feel the pressure from society, and I feel uncomfortable even around my boyfriend. Is that something wrong with society, me, or the relationship I am in??
I'd use the word "slender" instead of skinny.
From your Halloween picture you still look like a girl with all the curves in all the right places. That's all that really matters. I think you look wonderful.
Then there's this. You'll probably outlive all of the people who call you "skinny" or "anorexic."
Finally, Marylin Monroe, at the height of her fame, was a size 10.
Great hub! You did a great job writing. I know exactly what you mean. I have been small and slender most of my life except for my pregnancies, and I was lucky enough to bounce bag to pre-pregnancy weight and size. I'm 5'3" and anywhere from 105-109. I have four kids, two of them which are twins. Even though my twins are 8, people seem to judge me or make comments for not being heavier. I have heard the "skinny bitch" comment too many times.
It makes me laugh because there's no way I could be heavier with my kids around -- they're full of energy. Plus all the housework and stuff to go along with four kids keeps me busy and moving around a lot.
Don't be offended or worry about what people say, most of the time they're just jealous or for some reason want to try to make you feel bad. Don't let them. : )
Great hub. I am going to be one of your newest followers.
That's a great counselor you have now, and while you become stronger on the inside, you can help educate the people on the outside with your hubs. :)
I envy you. I'm not this strong. Writing a hub like this, for me, is like bearing it all. Writing about a topic that I feel helpless about and admiting the fact that I'm hurting.
This one brought up some justification for 'us' (wink) skinny girls! Kudos to you! *hugs*
Good for you..........standing up and taking your power back! Voted up and awesome!
I have been the same size since middle/high school. I finished school 15 years ago. I am 5'2 and teeter between 93 - 97 pounds. I can relate. I didn't avoid the gym though/ I used to weight train. I got a lot of positive feedback since I could support more than what I weighed then. They called me an ant. Don't ask me to do it now.
There are a lot of similarities between us but I am stubborn so I didn't get to many of the negative issues you mention. Stay strong! Good luck.
Growing up being tiny and thin must of been horrible. The media puts so much into thin is in and teenagers go for it. The teen years are so hard but reading how adults treated you is unbelievable to me. Not all adults remember how hard it was to go through puberty and to add to your stress, well those guidance counselors should have been spoken to.
I admire your courage on writing this particular piece. It must be really emotionally draining to publicly speak about your most personal issues.
Don't let people get to you. If you weren't naturally thin, they would find another feature or flaw to bring to your attention. When I wore glasses, and they were pretty thick glasses, people would talk about me being blind all the time. Now that I wear contacts, I hear things like "Omg, I never noticed you have a big nose". LOL There's always going to be something. Don't worry, be happy. :)
It's a sad reality, but for women, no matter how they're built, the media focuses on perfection. Many magazine photos are airbrushed and are presented to us women as the ideal, which we can never achieve.
There is too much focus, in society, on how we look . You even hear it concerning female, political candidates.
While growing up, I was teased big time for being thin. I didn't have the chest that other girls had, or models. It took me a long time to be happy with my body. Now, I wouldn't change a thing about how I look. I have accepted my slenderness, and am happy about it.
I'm 47 and still weigh the same as I did at 18. I still hear comments, but what can I say??? I didn't choose to be this way. I just smile and say, at least I can eat anything I want without a thought. They usually don't say anything after that. :)
@Terishere you couldn't be any more right with your observations. I flunked the army physical because I was too thin for my height 6 feet 129lbs Ha ha Hah!I did get way sick before induction! But I still have a runners figure and weigh 145 or so.
But my point is that I am a Gemini,and some of us are slight,or wiry.Also Virgo has many thin members as they often have stomach upsets from worry.Melbel sound familar?
Just be you and live life.
Great hub, don't let the envious and nasty people keep you down.
The only reason people make nasty comments is because they are jealous! Trust me !I know! I used to be one of them until I spoke to a therapist to figure out what was wrong with me!
Have always been slim myself. The reasons I have looked at since living in the U.S. There is always a reason or cause. Want to to be heavier ? You can be. Want to be lighter? You can be.
I'm really glad I came across your hub. I am overweight and certainly do wish I was smaller, but I think society needs to get their minds off of weight, physical beauty, etc. I have a friend though who is extremely thin. I never thought much about it as that is just how she is. I never commented on it. It just wasn't an issue. However, recently she became very ill and was hospitalized. She lost 12 pounds which she just could not afford. It worries me. She mentioned the other day that she is glad she lost weight as she has been meaning to lose some weight. She is now thinking about "controlling her dietary intake." I am not concerned about how she looks. I am concerned about her health. I don't know much about anorexia, but I worry about her mindset. You have given me a different perspective. Thanks for your sharing.
I wonder why you cant gian weight. It's strange, but I think one of my friends is like that.
melbel I too am skinny not anorexic I am about 30 years older then you. I have had comments my whole life. I know some believe I may be anorexic and might like to ask they do not ask directly just hint. I know I am not and that is what matters. It is a drag to be asked all the time why are you skinny? I tell them I had to share it with my twin sister. I do have a thin twin. ON occasion I will hear what a figure for your age. Anyway I eat all the time and I can and I am so grateful. My mom told me that one day I would be grateful when I was older. After having 3 daughters I can wear the bikini. One day you will enjoy and love the body God Blessed you with. Keep feeding it spiritual food as well as good food hey? He only made one melbel and you were made for a purpose. You are beautiful and perfect in His eyes. He made you. How can God mess up He cannot!!I enjoyed your hub and I am grateful you wrote about it. Thanks for following your heart. Hey by the way forever21 has jeans and lots of shirts for the wonderfully extra thin.
I do relate to you I so do. For my swim top I cut slits on the side and slip in a little pep up cup from Wilmar by the Bras cost around $10. You can use it for any swim top or strapless bras. Bikinis at the end of the season are cheap for us skinnies. I get them for about a $1.00 each. It pays to be thin they were small sizes that did not sell SO go for it girl and load up on the bikinis You can wear one if I do. Now I am revealing my boobs to all who read. JK As if they are going to read my comment.
Many Blessings on your journey melbel. Look in the mirror and thank God for for your beautiful figure. Many would trade us you know! My Love and hugs your way.
Joined your club look forward to more reads.
Hi, I can relate to your feelings. I'm thin and no matter how I eat ...it's like I gain a pound today and lose it by tomorrow. It's quite ironic though, because I have a good appetite.
But for me, it's okay to be naturally thin as long as you love being you. :) As for clothings, I guess I have no other resort but to learn how to sew ...
Hi Melbel (:
I find it strange that I accidentally went onto hubpages for the first time in months to this being the first article that shows up- especially when I relate to everything you have to say! I'm 15, 5'8, and about 112 pounds (having lost a few recently simply because it's summer, if that makes sense)- and the comments have started coming! A few days ago I was babysitting a four year old and tried to help him swim in the pool- he wasn't the best swimmer- and he screamed LOUD, pushed me away like I was trying to kill him and yelled, "You're scary! You're TOO SKINNY!" Needless to say, everyone stared :/ The double standards when it comes to weight today are insane. Many people I know are so over-conscious of offending an overweight person that they do the opposite and offend people like me. Although I understand the motives, I can't stand seeing acceptance pictures of voluptuous Marolyn Monroe next to a thin-er person with the title "THIS is more beautiful than THIS- don't believe the hype" thank you, people. I thought beauty came in all shapes and sizes? The worst part, I think, is when people imply that I'm trying to conform to a stereotypical body-image, and I don't know what's best for me. Then, naturally, I freak out and binge on the most insane junk food and feel like crap in the morning- NOT because I think I'm fat, but because I ATE crap! Duh!
I hope I quickly learn the same kind of acceptance that you have, so that I don't wreak havoc on my body in an effort to gain weight, like so many other girls I know trying to lose it. . .
Strange that men do not get hassle about being skinny or thin !! Or do I just not hear of it ?
Another thing that really gets to me about being slim. Finding clothes to fit you. Nobody makes waist 28'' for men.
Only for boys. Great if you like wearing jeans 3'' short in the leg !!!
Good job I have a Kilt !
I know exactly how you feel, I am 5"3 and 85lbs. My whole family since my great-great grandparents are naturally underweight. Whenever, people make remarks like that I think to myself, they are just jealous. ;P
hey,
You seem to have a high metabolism, that's all. and it's very common. Next time you could say that to anyone who asks.
don't think about what people say about you ... if you start listening to them you'll end up with depression.
i saw your picture and if i saw you walking down the street i would never think of you as an anorexic person... you are perfectly proportionate and filled in all areas of your body and have a great smile.
don't let it get to you.
Thank you for writing this! I had done a similar article months back on another writing site and was instantly called names I care not to repeat. I don't see what's wrong with being born thin and working out.
Thank you. I'm the same height as you (5'4) and I actually weigh 5-10 pounds more than you (110-ish) and I STILL hear all the same BS.
Only in America, though. When I go to Europe, no one thinks I'm anorexic. They just think I'm a normal-to-slightly-small girl. That's really interesting to me, that people only think I'm anorexic when I'm in a country where 70% of people are fat. If I go to a country where people eat and weigh more normally, they don't think there's anything wrong with me.
I obviously do eat. And anyone who has known an actual anorexic (as I have) knows that they aren't just "skinny." They're starving. And there's a world of difference between those two things.
People can be incredibly rude towards thin people. Like you said, all the rules of etiquette go out the window when it comes to thin people. You can't make fun of someone for being fat, but you can bully someone for being thin as much as you want.
I have just stopped putting up with it. People who do that to me are almost always fat. And if they think it's ok to be mean to me for being thin, then I will simply come out and say that they aren't one to talk about whether someone's weight is healthy, since they are fat.
I don't like being mean to anyone, and I don't have anything against overweight people in general. Most of them aren't rude to me. But when someone is, it's always someone who is fat, and I am not going to lie down and let someone treat me like that.
We have a double standard in society and making fun of thin people is socially-sanctioned bullying.
Thank you for taking the time to write this. My daughter came home today down & angry because some boy commented on her thinness & asked if she was anorexic. Same boy, two days in a row. She is constantly being asked this. I sat her down & had her read your article. It really helps people to know that they are not alone in this and how other people have coped. Both her father & I were incredibly thin in our youth and we continue to be slim, so we know it's in the genes.
Again, thank you for writing this article.
Hi,My names Rorie(: Im 14. 5'6'' & weigh about 102.
Recently i've been selfconsious about my weight, Even thogh people tell me im beautiful.. My response to that is: Only in the face. It never really bothered me in elementry or middle school. But now it's the only thing on my mind. I eat Alot, Fast metabolism i guess? :?
It's good to hear about life on the other side of the pendulum. Trying to gain weight is a LOT harder than trying to lose weight. My son struggles with being underweight. I imagine it's even harder for girls/women, as it's not the "norm" and the "A" word is so easy to lay on someone when you don't understand.
Good hub, Melbel. Voting it up and helpful. MM
I'm sorry but you're height and weight and pictures don't really seem "too" skinny. I'm 5'1 and 85 pounds at 24. Been the same height and weight since the eighth grade, and I eat constantly. How do you think WE feel?
I love this article I am a "naturally" thin 27 old woman myself and my sister is 20-she is also naturally thin. I get tired of people asking the question "Do you eat?" and saying things like "You're so skinny!" We are just as self-conscious about our weight as a "overweight woman" in my opinion the overweight women have it easier, because people are less inclined to insulting them. I find calling me skinny or a stick very offensive and I don't take it as a compliment! My sister is currently trying very hard to gain weight she's constantly drinking ensure shakes and trying to consume more food. Not everyone that is thin wans to be thin! we have just as much a right to complain as anyone else! I am an A cup, the only reason I am able to finally wear a larger size in jeans is because I've put on a little weight due to "aging" it's not always a good thing to be small, I got called names and teased to tears in middle school and high school. I'm not trying to say that I don't appreciate my wieght, because I do it is just the sterotypes are driving me up the wall! people constantly thinking you wear a size 0, thinking you only weigh 80 pounds, and don't even see what the men who "love fat women" say about us, they degrade us and talk bad about us they make us seem unattractive just because we don't have the "curves". Narrow-minded much? I think all women should appreciate their sizes but, heavy people have no right to tell me not to complain and that I'm lucky. They have things to help them lose weight but what do they have other than ensure or nutritional drinks to help us gain weight. And I see MANY of these larger women with men as well do you ever get the feeling that they get men easier than we do? I do.
lol. I was wondering when I would finally see a article like this. I'm small and very petite myself, I'm 5'3, not sure about how much I weight since I gained weight but I know I at least wear a size three and even a five, depending on the clothing. Yes, people do think it's okay to call us skinny and not say anything to the heavier people. And, I also get sick of hearing the line "I would kill to be that size:, or your so lucky! But, anyways, It even limited me about how I dress, too self-conscious to wear a shirt or dress and I'm missing out on a lot of cute stuff I could be wearing(bigger women sure don't have a problem wearing whatever they want! But, that's about to change, b/c I have a right to wear and be comfortable in my own skin. Just like the rest of us small people. And, I am so glad there's people out there that can relate to me. I really understand the frustration b/c I've been through it and still from time to time, wish I was bigger. And, sometimes I'm satisfied, you just have to be confident and not care what other people say cause their either jealous and will always have some negative to say. But, thank-you for opening up about something so personal, and there's no a thing wrong with how you look-you look nice and your a good size. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
Love it!! Great job with this topic. I am 5'9" and about 130, not even underweight, yet get called "anorexic" a lot??? I am very athletic, and might look smaller than I really am, but I don't think I look sick at all (and there is a difference between naturally skinny and forced skinny). When I was a kid I got teased...was told I must have a hollow leg, because I ate so much and weighed so little. Bony, long limbs, knobby knees, etc...Now, I have long, athletic legs and arms that I love to show off. I actually put on weight intentionally because I was sick of hearing the comments...my own mother told me that I looked like Ichabod Crane (from the Headless Horseman cartoon LOL). Oh, and I would never, ever say anything about another's weight, but people feel the need to say something to me because I am thin. Double standard...since being thin is the "ideal" for a lot of people, it must be ok to say whatever you want, regardless of how it makes the other person feel...A lot of the time, I feel very self concious of it, other times, not so much ;-). Good on you! You are beautiful, as are all people, no matter what they look like...we are all perfect in our imperfections!
To be honest, it's not just skinny people who have to put up with this. I'm 5'2 and 120lbs yet I'm constantly being told I am too skinny and need to eat more. I even sometimes get the "do you have an eating disorder?" question from people who barely know me yet I'm not even underweight!
Like the poster above me I am very athletic and love to play sport. However I'm not curvy; I have small boobs and narrow hips, etc so I probably do look like I weigh less than I do.
Someone said above that they're only skinny in America and that is so true! It's only when I'm in America that people think I'm skinny, when I travel through Europe, people there don't think I'm skinny at all -- they think I look normal and healthy. It seems anyone who doesn't have rolls of fat hanging off them obviously has an eating disorder.
The point is though, I'm healthy and happy. I just wish other people could see that too and leave me alone.
i no how awful it is im very underweight to an hav been asked if im anerexic to which im not i eat very wel and under i dietion at hospital all i say to ppl is if i was anerexic theyd have me in a clinic to gain weight this proves all my internal organs work fine someone whith anerexia dosnt thats why there fed in a clinic just tell them to shut up fatty theyl soon stop calling you names i was on the brink of suicide with this problem and thats the only way i can get my own bak i cant wear swimsuits either hence no boobs either
I totally understand where you are coming from. I dont have any boobs. Im still in an A cup and Im 16. I wear a size 0 in pants. It is so hard to deal with being skinny. Its hard shopping for clothes and especially bras because they never have the smaller sizes like 32A (which is what i wear). i think people who arent skinny have it good because they dont get talked about as much and nobody judges them. My family always talk about how skinny I am and how they wish they were my size. Personally no they dont wish they were my size. I am very self-concious and I wear baggy clothes because there is no use in showing off something that I do not have.
Sixteen years old, 32A bra and a size 0. Just like me at 16 and my my daughter, who is sixteen now and who was diagnosed by her doctor at around 10 with "failure to thrive" syndrome. It sucks to be questioned about your weight when people would never comment if you were overweight and it sucks when friends and the moms of friends think you have an eating disorder. But take a look at the pretty girl in the Halloween 2010 picture. Pretty sure you would be just as beautiful. To prove it, take a picture of yourself in a nice outfit, or a swim suit and place a picture of your favorite model or someone you think is beautiful over your face on the picture. Your body is young and beautiful. Put a smile on your own face and be happy you really aren't 100 pounds overweight - they are the ones who have it worse.
Also - why on earth are the words "anorexia, anorexic, eating disorder" used as tags??
As a 41 year old mother of 4 who weighs 111 lbs and 5'7" tall I have one question. Why are skinny women becoming the new public enemy #1? I've been called "skinny Debbie" since kindergarten and "skinny bitch" since high school.. Except for a glorious year or so when I was able to gain weight - a whopping 140lbs, it was heaven then. Wearing a size 8 (I used to push it) was acceptably skinny. It all seemed to fall off when I turned 40 as if my I lost my magic slipper. Lately however, larger women are becoming unbearably rude. I love that you are all coming into your own and finding empowerment and confidence in your own skin without conforming but skinny women need love too. Stop with the snide comments, they exude hate. Why can't we live and let live? My entire life is filled with larger women whom I love very much. My skinniness is my lot in life and I accept it and will no longer feel like I am deliberately hurting feelings by simply walking into a room. Yes I wear a double 0. No I am not hungry.
Im sorry. Your article had me rolling my eyes the entire time.
Please forgive us people who manage to gain weight just by looking at food for being upset by the unjust, and unfairness that is natrually skinny.
I havent eaten chocolate in over 2 years, Sushi? Forget it! All that carbs! Exercising 2 hours a day 6 days a week isnt much fun either.
You have NO idea how much more horrible it is to be fat.
I do. I'm thin now, thanks to having to cut out almost all the joy in my life, and being fat is ALWAYS worse.
No, its not socially acceptable to say the word fat... That doesnt mean people don't. That doesnt mean you cant see the people looking you up and down, or watch as the boys approach and then get a look at your wobbly legs.
Your clothing is beyond restricted, its not about finding something that fits, its about finding something that can cover your hidious body.
You spend all your day thinking about your weight, your to ashamed to eat in public.
You complain because everyone though you were anorexic?
At least people cared!
NO ONE cares to wonder why fat people are fat, no one offers to help them, because they are just disgusting pigs and are to greedy for their own good.
Stop complaining because some people moan about how skinny you are, because I bet NONE of you have ever dreamed about being fat.
Also, in your picture you dont look anorexic. I have friends way skinnier then that and here in nz the clothes specifically are made for THEM, good lucky finding fatty clothes
I am a retired dietician and I suggest that naturally thin women practice good nutrition and exercise habits in their youth, even if they don't "need" to because they have high metabolisms. Everyone's metabolism declines as they age.
The women in my family also are/were naturally thin before childbirth, but most attain an "average" body weight by late middle age, especially if they've had a child. In my age group, the thin women that I socialize with only maintain their small size by eating like birds. When you reach 60 or 70 like me, you cannot eat pizza and hamburgers and still fit into a size four. (Personally, I love pizza and couldn't care less what size I am any more.)
Gaining weight in your later years is a good thing, since the extra padding helps protect you from broken bones. In any case, don't expect to be naturally thin your whole life with no effort, or unless you never give birth.
I'm 16, 5'2" and around 80~90 lbs.
I also stop eating because of stress.
Thank you so much for this article, I never see any on this topic. It helped me tremendously.
Wow this hub hit home! I am also 5 foot 4 inches tall and weigh anywhere between 105-110. When I get closer to the 105 range people everywhere tell me how skinny I am. It's as if it's okay to discuss weight with thin people but not okay for a thin person to talk about the weight of someone who his overweight or obese. Great Hub!
I have always weighed off the chart my entire life as well. I'm 5'5 and am usually 100 pounds. I was always bullied but now I love my body. Just had to get through those high school years.
As for shopping......it is not a problem at all. Any high end designer makes clothing extra small because most of their cliental are small(actresses, models, singers). Go to Bloomies or Nordstrom and ask a specialist about what labels are smaller. I can't even fit into the 0's. I wear a 2 and I'm thirty and yes people whisper but believe me it's all just jealousy. Be brave! Jeans go down to a 23 so I don't know why you're having a problem there? Try Paige, J Brand, Hudson, or sevens. I wear a 25 or a 26. Good luck!
Being skinny does not mean you are healthy any more than being in a garage makes you a car! I am not a skinny girl - and have great respect for this that deal with both ends of the spectrum!! Too bad self confidence has to be based on weight!! We should all try to make health eating choices - since we only get one body!! It is no worse than having huge boobs, small feet, big feet! Huge head or crossed eyes! We are all different, and beautiful!!
I'm so sorry you were treated like this! That's just unacceptable and I dearly hope that counsellor lost her job!
I'm angry at how I get treated too. I am 53-55kgs at about 5'7", and ever since age 13, people seemed to think my body was public property. People I didn't even know would demand to know about my health and what I ate and how much...and people would treat me as if I had some terrifying medical condition. When I was in school I'd go to lift plastic chairs - literally plastic chairs - and I'd be told not to saying oh no you'll hurt yourself.
It's never appropriate to treat anyone like that, for whatever reason.
And to Lizzy...sorry, but screw you.
Just because you have problems does not mean other people's are invalid. You want your problems to be considered, but you piss on other people's? Way to be a massive hypocrite.
I also love how Lizzy seems to think that all the abuse that happened to this poster is totally fine, because she's thin therefore she can't possibly suffer.
She thinks it's okay that this poor girl got constantly bullied. She thinks it's okay that she was diagnosed with several dangerous disorders she does not have. She thinks it's okay that she ended up with psychological problems due to nonstop abuse from peers.
Yet Lizzy wants sympathy because poor victim that she is, only her problems matter and everyone else can go hang.
Shut the hell up Lizzy and stop being a narcissist.
Jessica, I could have deleted Lizzy's comment, but I chose to keep it up to show not only how the writer feels about her own weight (which is unfortunate that she feels that way about her body), but to show how some people project onto those who are on the skinny side "have no right to complain." It's unfortunate that she feels the way she does about her body, but I also feel that her rage against skinnier people kind of invalidated her point, at least for her.
The comment does serve to show the point of this article, "Skinny people have no right to complain" and portrays, somewhat accurately, the verbal abuse that many thin people, like myself, have gotten from those who also suffer from a weight "issue."
On a personal note, due to her behavior, I don't feel bad for her.
thanks for this article because it made me feel better. I am thin, always have been and probably always will be. I dislike the comments people make and just try to ignore them. Things like, 'Wow, have you lost weight again' or 'You can stop dieting because you're getting to thin' even my own family comments on it and my father and grandmother were sticks when they were young. Oh and by the way, I'm now 50..still thin and still having to put up with people's thoughtless comments. I thought being thin was healthy...so what's the big deal folks. Leave us alone and find something else to obsess about.
Your story really touched me. I think ultimately that bringing to light the taunting that girls of all body types receive is very important! Thank you for sharing your story :)
Hey i actually found this like a month ago and saved it on my mobile. Im 20 years old,5'2 and 90 pounds and i always get comments about how skinny i am! I would change my weight and have tried but i am also a picky eater ,but theres alot i loove and eat soo much of!! It hurts me how unsensitive people can be,when i was younger id cry and usually answer in a rude way,which is not me atall!! People usually find it odd that i would answer so rudely! Ive been told remarks such as " wow,your like a stick!" that comment is the worst! Its been a slow process to just not take it personal i just realize that,that person is a bit ignorant. I really enjoyed this! And i know it was posted a while back but i just had to comment!
Im not alone! Hahah :)
hey, i'm a 20 year old guy who is also naturally thin. Im 6 feet tall and my weight has been between 132-137 pounds for a few years. I eat 3 meals a day plus my vitamins and snacks, but no matter what I do I cannot manage to ever go over 140 pounds. People say im skinny, my Mom has wondered if Im anorexic. But they just dont understand how it is being skinny. Heck I've gone through depressive periods in my life where I've eaten nothing but fast food 3-4 times a day and junk food for 2 months straight and i didn't gain a pound. I don't hate being skinny though, Ive come used to it, I feel its much better to be skinnier than the average person than to be fatter :)
Have to say I agree with lizzy. Stop complaining.
Lizzy -- I don't think people were complaining, they were simply putting a different point of view across. Besides, even if people were complaining, why should they stop? Do you not ever complain about things? I bet you do.
Everyone has problems. Just because their problems are different to yours doesn't make them any less real. Are the problems you have with your weight suddenly invalid because there are starving children around the world? No of course not. Just like how a skinny person's problems aren't suddenly invalid because you have problems with your weight.
Again, just because their problems are opposite to yours doesn't make them any less real to them. I also think everyone has the right to complain every once in a while :)
wow lizzy is mean!!!!
I'm naturally skinny and I can say say it sucks. I don't like being told you must be anorexic and being asked if I want a cheeseburger. Honestly the rudest thing and it hurts my confidence. I am probably the opposite of an anorexic I look in the mirror and wish I could gain weight. I eat a lot more than most girls to try to gain weight. I put on baggy clothing never skinny jeans or leggings, and amstarting to avoid shorts.so people don't notice as much. It sucks but God gave me this body for a reason and I'm just going to have to know that he thinks its perfect.
Hi. I came across your post while I was searching for information to help my teenage daughter. I first want to say thank you for writing this.
My daughter is 15 and naturally very thin (no underlying health issues). I see a beautiful, smart, funny, caring young lady developing before my eyes and she sees an ugly, skinny girl with no breasts that guys will never like. Some of the experiences you talk about in your post are happening to her and I try to help her through them. She says I don't understand what it's like and she's right, I don't. I was a little heavier growing up so I went through different issues. Her self esteem is very low and she is seeing a therapist which is helping alot.
Your post helped me, as a mother to see into her world a little bit. Thank you so much for sharing with everyone.
I appreciated your article. I have been small my entire life also. I have always enjoyed being petite. I have been told that my legs were toothpicks or that a strong breeze would blow me away, but I took these things in stride. I have Never been ridiculed for my size as you have been, for which i am very grateful. My two daughters are very small also. I have always encouraged them to feel proud of their size. I tell them it's great to be petite! My 12 year old asked me recently if she was going to be a midget. I told her of course not, she was just going to be an adorable petite girl. She loved hearing that! I think that it is very important to instill confidence and a love of self in our children. We do this by our example. What we say and do in front our children can help them develop into amazing, stable, confident adults!
Pamela N Red Level 6 Commenter 6 months ago
Melbel, don't let them bother you, they are jealous. I've been thin my whole life and had people make snide remarks.
People think we have it easy but we don't because we are picked on as much or more than overweight people are.
It mostly has to do with diet and lifestyle choices. Skinny people love healthy foods like vegetables and are more active. Fatty and overly sweet foods don't appeal to us.
I enjoyed this article. Voted up and useful.